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Gold diggers and Trophy Wives

I’ve always struggled with assumptions.

As I have got older, built my life and, I suppose, myself, I notice it even more.

If a man is well dressed, well groomed he is deemed successful, he takes care of himself.

If I a woman is well dressed, well groomed, she is vain, materialistic.

If a man posts a photo of himself in swimwear, looking toned, feeling good. He has been at the gym, he’s celebrated for his hard work, his positive life style change.

If a woman posts the same photo, she is an attention seeker, she’s “full of herself”, a show off and a slut.

A man who eats at expensive restaurants, lives in a beautiful apartment or has any trappings of a luxury lifestyle is successful, hard working, celebrated.

A woman with the same is a gold digger, lucky, selfish, materialistic.

It’s not only men who make these assumptions about us. This week alone 3 different women have commented & messaged views that make my blood boil.

One said I should set up a secret account because it “wasn’t my money yet” and I would need it in 5-10 years.

One said “we should teach girls to be clever and not models”

A third that I was being “looked after” by my partner (which I absolutely am, although not, in any way, is this financial).

I have worked as a model, I also have a degree in Classics and Philosophy. I have worked as a model, which was the start of my journey to becoming a photographer and owning a production company.

I wear 4 outfits a day sometimes. I also built 3 businesses from scratch.

I would never leave the house without at least giving my brows a brush through, this year alone I estimate I have raised approximately £100,000 in funds for Women’s Aid and other women’s causes.

I am glamorous, I love how I look, I dress ridiculously, I love cocktails, I love shoes, I am also a successful, financially independent woman, with a fabulous career & 2 businesses who spends hours a week voice noting strangers in her inbox about their break ups, school bullies, mid life crisis, business advice and general motivation.

Men make assumptions about women because they are scared to lose their power. Because they are intimidated by a woman who’s doing more than them so they must diminish our success and attribute it to a man.

Why do women do it to other women? It’s projection and I’m done with it.

The discomfort you feel about a woman in a bikini who’s killing in life is your problem. If there’s one thing we need to teach girls, it’s not to judge other girls or to limit themselves to a box tagged “clever” or “funny” or “beautiful “ and instead to empty out the contents of all of those boxes shake it up and create yourself how you want and not how other peoples insecurities prescribe.

If you want to wear no make up, cover up, dress down, you do you baby, I’m here for us all, but the rhetoric that glam equals stupid, selfish and dependant stops now.

Ciao bye ✌🏽

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