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My Body

85% of what you look like is entirely made up,by you, in your own head.

I rediscovered this bikini last week and whilst the Argos Hotel Ibiza lacks wildly in basic customer service and style, the rooms are kind of perfect to offset lilac and a tan for an Insta pic so I took this on my phone.

I looked at this photo for so long, I showed it to Alex, bemused.

My body looks, in my humble opinion, quite fire.

How is it possible then, I wondered, that 3 years ago I weighed 10kg less ( seriously and also wtf) and thought I didn’t look toned enough?

Because it’s all in your god damn head, girls.

The same reason that the “fine lines” I was convinced I had around my eyes when I was 23 and with a man who reduced me to a level of insecurity so low that I didn’t realise he was a balding, middle aged man who wore logo t’s unironically.

15 years later where are these fine lines? Not on my face, they never were.

Women’s minds have been filled with toxic advertising so strong it’s become hallucinogenic to us.

New problems are forever being introduced, it’s fine to be curvy now but did you know about hip dips?

3 years ago I went from feeling DISGUSTING if I hadn’t had a blow dry, freaking out if I hadn’t had my nails done,

Brows tinted, lashes lengthened, to nothing.

I stopped colouring my hair, I stopped painting my nails, I stopped blow dries, tans.

My hair got massive and wild and unruly and I just feel like it’s a bit more me.

Why is it that 100s of people a week tell us we are amazing and we ignore it, instead torturing ourselves over some insane thing which likely doesn’t exist at all and in any case is FOR SURE wildly exaggerated by ourselves?

Just letting you know that you might secretly look exactly how you always wanted, you just can’t see it yet 😍❤️.

Also in weird news. Years after retiring from modelling guess who booked a big swimwear casting today. 🎉🎉🎉🎉 again.. what the hell!

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